overwhelmed

i went to church today, for the first time in probably 6 years. it was overwhelming to say the least. i'm trying to get back into things, but today felt like a little too much. i met so many people which was amazing, they were all sooo nice. but i feel like i have so much to live up to now. i don't want to feel pressured to go to all the young adult things and relief society events. but i already do. i'm barely getting the hang of meeting with the missionaries, let alone going to church. then i'm feeling pushed to do all the things already. i don't think i'm ready yet. i'm trying to take this slow, so i can feel comfortable. i don't want so much shoved in my face that i turn and run again. i feel like i'm already feeling the need to tell everyone to chill out, i'll work up to it. its like come do this and that, and i have no desire to yet. church is enough for me now to take in and deal with let alone all the other things outside of church. i dont want to feel shoved or obligated into having to go. when i'm comfortable maybe i'll go but i can't promise anything. they kinda make me feel like i need to jump right in, when i know i'm ready yet. i'm just kinda confused i don't want to run. i think i just need to call my grandma and have a chat about things about what i should expect and what they expect of me. i just don't want to jump right in yet. i'm trying to take this slow so i don't freak out. it's hard and not easy getting back into things.